Overpowering, overthinking, and overreactivity were regulars in my life not so long ago. I had worked on a focused business in San Francisco that I loved. It was a job where I worked with humanitarian organizations in a way that gave my life a lot of meaning. I was so excited about what I was doing. The more I worked, the more energetic I felt – or so I thought.
Most of my work was done in front of my computer. Many days I saw no nature beyond the images on my laptop's background image. Without realizing it, I slipped into the gloomy statistic of the "average" person who spends 90 to 95% of their time indoors.
At some point overwork and neglect of self-care caught up with me: When the last drop fell, I collapsed. I was so wiped out that I couldn't sit down to work for a few months.
During my free time, my intuition led me to volunteer on a small organic farm nearby. Up until that point, I had spent a lot of time in forests, mountains and oceans, but I didn't know anything about agriculture. But it wasn't long before my love for nature awoke and deepened on the farm.
In the field, I found as many moments of wonder and awe as reaping. I was fascinated by the way the cool mist rolled through the pronounced valley, the sparkling dewdrops formed of new life, and the red-tailed hawk looked down at me from the power lines above.
When I settled in this real world, this outside world, my inner calm returned. And with it my clarity – and my obligation never to stray so far from the country again.
It was only when I let the nature around me love me – or rather until I became aware of the fact that I was always loved by her – that I really began to experience deeper healing. The experience enriched my life so much that I soon ran out of words to describe it. Inevitably I ended up on "holy".