Welcome to the third podcast in our Connect the dots Series. Adolescent Relationships With Parents is today’s title and I’m delighted to have Stuart Wilson from Zest Life back.
When teenagers come to our clinics, they fill out a mental weight report and from this we identify the habits, behaviors and attitudes that are the main cause of overeating. In this report, we look for triggers, events, or problems that catalyze the shift from normal eating habits to ones where overeating * becomes a problem. * Several problems can be combined.
One of the main triggers we look for is the relationship between adolescents and their parents.
As Stuart points out, and this is important, the therapeutic style as we once knew it is long gone – the time when you dropped your child off and picked them up again at a later hour. Now it’s more of a collaborative approach, similar to the one here with Motivation, where parents are involved in the process of supporting the living space (the world of the adolescent and how they grow up, the connections and relationships in their world). The therapist’s job is to connect (the dots) and, if possible, work together to support, encourage and heal the living space so that they can go through and develop the correct procedural aspects of development as a young person.
This developmental aspect is a critical component of growing up and is covered in detail in our second podcast in the series, Understanding Risk Taken & Peer Pressure in Adolescents.
Sometimes we delay seeing the young people because we have to support the parents first before anything can be done with the young people (possibly).
One of the most common things we talk about is parenting style – do you agree on how to raise your children? It doesn’t mean that we have to agree on everything, but it does mean that we have to be in unity in what we present.
Children will always say, “I can go to mom for that, for dad.” They know which buttons to press.
That is parenthood: to enlarge and support the living space of the young person.
This is not always possible as there are different parenting styles. The next few paragraphs can be uncomfortable and disturbing to read as they challenge you to define the style of your upbringing. Remember the Connect the dots Refrain:
You’re not alone.
Get it, talk about it. The beauty of being an adult is that we are in our fully developed brain. Our brains are neuroplastic, we can change, we can hide, we can adapt, so it’s never too late.
- Receptive: does everything for your child
- Non-receptive: They don’t want to be non-receptive, only the business of their lives gets in the way – work pressure, illness, business problems, etc. By arming the parents therapeutically, they can move into this more receptive category.
- Hostile upbringing: parents who are never there for their children. This parenting style has two sub-categories.
- Directly hostile
- Indirectly hostile because they are going through severe trauma themselves.
If we want a relationship with our children in the future, it is never too late to look and change.
NOTE: There is no judgment on any aspect of the above. It’s easy.
We need the guidance and help so that we can become receptive parents and work collaboratively.
The way is easier when the parents are cooperative.
Can you appear for her That is what is really important. This is the ultimate example of a commandment for your child. It’s a grand gesture, and sometimes it’s enough.
To listen to this most exciting podcast, Adolescent Relationships With Parents, just click below.