Is it your time to shine
Most of us know what it is like to have “Cheat Syndrome” or not to feel “good enough” at some point, but your lack of confidence has held you back in areas of your life that you are not even aware of? For some, the inability to control their weight is a reflection of this limiting self-esteem (read more about this here).
That's where Let go of your strength and starting to believe in yourself can make all the difference. Could this be the year you finally step into your strength and reach a weight and height that is not only healthier but also feels amazing?
Letting go of judgments and fear
Some of the most successful people admit to feeling like scammers despite their incredible achievements. The author and businesswoman Arianna Huffington calls the self-sabotaging voice in her head her “disgusting roommate”, whom she has to push back against (and ignore) again and again.
I know a very successful consultant who regularly admits that she suffers from overload / burnout, competitiveness, perfectionism, procrastination and, overall, the fear that she will be “found out” as a fraud. The basic idea that drives it is that it is unworthy of success and has to prove it and prove it again. This belief can be formed in childhood and remain with us in our adult lives. But it can be changed.
Even Lady Gaga has these feelings; Apparently she wakes up most mornings with the overwhelming feeling that she is "the loser kid in high school" and needs to devote a lot of time to positive self-talk to counter this.
These feelings of inadequacy seem particularly dominant in women; They do not feel appropriate or deserve the praise they receive, likely due to the toxic expectations and conditions that society has traditionally set for women. It's not just restricted to women, however – many men will admit that they have similar feelings, especially at work.
5 steps to giving yourself permission to shine
1. See a therapist: He or she will help you identify your own specific limiting beliefs and will work with you to question them and replace them with new, more helpful core beliefs about the world and yourself. If you are not quite ready for therapy just yet, there are some popular CBT techniques that you can try to challenge your thoughts and beliefs. Read our blog on the subject here.
2. Realize that you are good enough: You are a good person, a good parent, a good daughter or son, a good partner and a good worker. Begin to regain your power – either in relation to your role in your family life, at work, or in the community. You are powerful, important, and can make a difference to others in positive ways.
3. Don't worry about what others think: Our need for constant external validation often leads us to paralysis and ultimately failure – and this can affect anything from not advancing our careers to not reaching our weight loss goals.
4. Encourage others to shine: As leaders, bosses, managers and employees, we can also encourage others in our lives to shine. Try your children; Encourage them to be their best version of themselves, aim high, and have positive self-confidence.
5. Compliments to you: See your strengths from someone else's point of view. List the qualities that you think others will admire in you and celebrate what you are good at instead of what you seem to "fail". If you're struggling with this, affirmations can be an excellent way to tap into confidence.