Love your self this Valentine’s day

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Valentine’s day

Romance is in the air while Valentine's Day highlights the soft side of people and love is shown in many different gestures. It's a great opportunity to remind our loved ones how much they mean whether they are partner, child, parent, sibling or friend.

The ancient Greeks divided love into four categories: agape (unconditional, love of your choice, even if you are not satisfied), philia (charity or brotherly love), storge (family love and physical affection) and eros (physical) sexual desire – the root of the word erotic).

Self-love forms the basis of our only, most important relationship – that with ourselves.

The strength of this foundation determines the strength of all other relationships. It is therefore worthwhile to investigate and improve if necessary. In Greek, despite previous words and deeds, this must be agape. Whipping ourselves up for perceived flaws leads to feelings of guilt. Acceptance is required for us to be free to truly love other people.

The alternative is self-punishment, which is a serious mental block that often leads to overeating, but also a block that can poison our entire lives. It can go on for many years to be lived by irrational, self-defeating behaviors and resentments towards other achievements.

One of the main causes of this mental block is the CRITICS, especially when we are young. The effects of this treatment can be catastrophic as it leads to feelings of inadequacy and even worthlessness. Even years later, because of our low self-esteem, we sabotage our efforts to improve ourselves because we don't consider ourselves worthy of success (even if the original incident is forgotten). Criticism from the elders is devastating to a child because they view adults as gods and what they say is considered truth. Other causes include trauma, abandonment, or neglect.

Regardless of whether mistakes were made or not, we can take responsibility for our actions and deal with the consequences. It is positive to accept our mistakes or the actions of others and to benefit from the knowledge gained. If we think we should feel guilty and destroy our own happiness, we will no longer have love for ourselves or others. Our energy for others is quickly used up and relationships will falter because the reserves are not available.

Abusive relationships are devastating. If we don't take care of the mind, body, and spirit, it is a form of self-abuse. There are many people who take better care of their cars, houses and furniture than their own well-being. What use are these things to us in the long term?

We need to face our problems head on and teach others how to treat us by showing them how we treat ourselves. There are three elements that need to be nurtured – our mind, our body, and our spirit.

As we work on these three, we develop an inner satisfaction, a strong sense of self that is not easily influenced by outside events. It is important to get rid of any belief that this is selfish or arrogant. It is crucial if we want to live a life that is full of content. Of course, staying in victim mode and finding solace in a “poor me” identity is easy (especially when we had to part with our feelings in childhood to survive), but I assure you that staying in this Zone eating us up inside will lead to even more self-destructive behaviors.

Whether we are in a relationship or not, we have the tools to be fully fulfilled. The potential in each of us is incredible, starting with non judgmental thinking. So love yourself on this Valentine's Day, accept and deal with your demons, then there is nothing left to conquer and you can see and experience unconditional love outside of you.

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